WARRIOR - film review

I’m guilty-as-charged when my mate Liz calls me “so white bread”. I hate violence. I hate violent films. It makes me nauseous and distracts me from the bigger picture, if you’ll pardon the pun.

But in spite of that, I enjoyed the film ‘Warrior’, which centres around the unbelievably violent ‘sport’ Mixed Martial Arts (MMA).

Starring Joel Edgerton, Nick Nolte & Tom Hardy (who played Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights!), the film has a strong enough story about family, redemption and forgiveness that the MMA can just be a vehicle that allows that to unfold if, like me, that’s all you want it to be. That said, the physicality of Edgerton and Hardy’s performances is admirable to say the least. Hardy especially has those chiselled muscles that can only be achieved with hours and hours at the gym. Hours and hours and hours.

I’ve heard a bit of buzz about Nolte in this film. He plays the raw and broken father of Edgerton & Hardy precisely as a seasoned, brilliant actor would, but I think the role was too small to really be anything buzz-worthy.

Edgerton’s Aussie accent crept in a few times but that only made him more endearing for me. It’s that ‘awww, local guy made good’ factor I guess. His performance was excellent and hopefully the start of more Hollywood fame & fortune coming his way.

I reckon a good test of how engrossed you are in a film is how many times you’re inclined to look at your watch. In this case it was just once, when at the two hour mark we still seemed a way off an ending. It went for another 20 minutes after that, so I’d advise against guzzling a giant frozen Coke in the opening minutes.

The story is predictable and heads to a fairytale ending but I was still engrossed enough to want to know which of the brothers was going to win the fight of their lives; a fight that was of course about much more than MMA.

‘Warrior’ opens in cinemas this Thursday, 27 October.

(You can see a non-fiction sample of MMA here)

TOM TOM CREW - a hard-to-define-show

Headed to the Forum Theatre last night to see Tom Tom Crew perform as part of the Melbourne Festival. The Forum is a gorgeous venue, my favourite in Melbourne, so a beautiful scene was set.

The foyer was full of ominous signs saying “This show is very loud!!!!!” (Why use one exclamation mark when many can really hammer your point home?) and there was a big box of ear plugs at the door of the theatre. I grabbed a set of ear plugs, suspecting my nana ways would have me squishing them in within minutes of the show starting.

After starting about 15 minutes late, the show opened with some amazing acrobatics. Well, they felt amazing, but as the show progressed, those opening moves were put to shame by even more amazing acrobatics. And when they got their see-saw thing going (see what I mean in this YouTube clip) well, their tricks were so risky (in a very cool way) as to have my stomach tied up in an anxious knot, concerned for their safety! For what it’s worth, I think at least part of that anxiety was born out of the fact that the see saw thing looked like it had been made in someone’s back yard out of odds and ends picked up at Bunnings. But no one fell to their death or cracked their head open. Score! There was a few dud landings but given the complexities of what they were doing, the crowd weren’t put off by that at all, they just cheered even more out of sympathy and appreciation.

As well as the acrobatics, there was a beat-boxer, a contortionist and a percussionist who all really thrilled the crowd. I’m about as far from a beat-boxing aficionado as you can be, but their guy Tom Thum, he had the crowd lapping up his every beat. The noises he could make were astounding, to the point where we had to be assured that there were no tricks, it was all legit, live beat-boxing. I loved the fact that he explained the equipment and what he was doing; it was a great touch for people like me, to whom this was all a bit new-age. He’s got a unique talent, but the nana in me couldn’t help but wonder (of he and the acrobats) ‘but what will they do when they get older and their bodies can’t do that anymore?... I hope they’ve got a trade to fall back on’.

The guy hosting the show, Ben, was also the group’s incredibly talented percussionist, at one stage with 8 drums on the go at once. He also brings out an omnichord, for which he obviously has a strong affection, and creates some very cool sounds which the crowd again went a bit nuts for. The cheers turned to gasps of delighted horror when a contortionist came on stage and did the kind of things with his body that a yogi could only dream of. I had to look away when his shoulder seemed to be dislocating before our eyes on account of my weak stomach but then I couldn’t bear to miss anything so quickly looked back.

The one part of the show that my mate AC and I agreed was a bit of a let-down was a graffiti sequence. Despite the fact that thematically it tied in with the rest of the show, it’s an art form that really can’t be done justice on stage in a theatre. As AC frankly said, “it felt a bit self-indulgent” and it went without the enthusiastic support of the crowd that the rest of the show enjoyed.

The show went for about an hour and a half so I’m still a bit mystified as to why so many people got up and left (presumably to go to the loo – they did return) during the show. Seriously, you can't hold on for 90 minutes?! It was an unwelcome distraction from the constant action on the stage.

The group is made up of blokes from across Australia, including a few Melburnians, so I suspect that might be part of the reason behind the standing ovation from the eclectic crowd at the end of the show.

It was a fantastic show, loud and action-packed, but happily not so loud as to entice me to squish in those ear plugs! Go and see it if you get the chance.

Tom Tom Crew are performing until 23 October for the Melbourne Festival. Details & tickets here.

THE WHISTLEBLOWER - film

The woman next to me said it best when the film finished... "That was amazing. Horrific, but amazing."

I went to see it on a whim. In fact, having asked the the Palace Cinemas tweeter if their tight arse night was Tuesday & getting an unsolicited recommendation, I abandoned my plans to see The Help or Jane Eyre and took their suggestion to see The Whistleblower. I'm not usually so easily swayed but the time and location suited and hey, I'm a lazy realist.

It can be a great way to go into a film; with virtually no expectations. You might not be blown away, but you can't really be disappointed. But the good news is that I was blown away. It's fantastic. It reminded me a bit of the film Precious, in that it's harrowing to watch but that you could recognise that it was an amazing story, well told.

The story is about human trafficking, which I didn't know before I saw it. It's not for the faint hearted. The graphic reality of what life is like for these young women was shown in quite some detail. It's based on a true story which just made every plot twist and turn more compelling. I was drawn in, desperate to know what happened with each plot development. The whole audience was captured. Everyone instinctively looked away when terribly graphic things happened and everyone gasped when the story took a surprise turn. The creators of this film had us in the palm of their hand. Go and see it.

PS. One of my pet hates was committed by one lone ranger in the cinema at the end of the film… clapping! I don’t know why, but it drives me crazy. If you’re at a premiere and the director and cast are in the room, sure, show them your appreciation but when you’re with the blue-rinse set at Rivoli (Melbourne), give it a rest.

BEAUTY AND THE GEEK - television

I’ve found a way to feel great about myself. It’s cheap and really easy to do. Want to know what it is?

Of course you do.

Well, set aside an hour from 8.30pm on Thursday night to watch ‘Beauty and the Geek’ on Channel 7.

The male geeks are generally loveable characters, whose social ineptitude will make you want to take them under your wing (and/or just give them a big pash) and tell them that they’re great people who deserve to be in happy, loving relationships. Cue warm, fuzzy feeling.

The female beauties are perhaps a bit less charming, but no less entertaining. Last week’s trivia question ‘What kind of animal is a koala?’ was answered by one beauty with ‘A placenta?’. Cue uproarious laughter. 

When the intellectual shortcomings of the beauties is starting to look goofy and loveable (and it will), remind yourself of their likely motivation for going on the show – a gig in Zoo Weekly. For the geeks, it’s a noble mission – to find love. Or in some cases, more like lurrrrve...

In a new innovation for the show this season, they’ve introduced a female geek and a male beauty. Watching the female geek have a little meltdown last week when she was asked to chat to strangers (a task clearly very foreign and uncomfortable for her) genuinely made me shed a tear (and wonder why the hell she’d signed up for the show). But it was a compelling, can’t-look-but-can’t-look-away moment.

And the male beauty, what’s he like? He’s orange. Desperately, hideously orange. But he did run to the aid of the female geek in her hour of need, so he can’t be all bad.

At the end of the show, you will feel like a genius and you will have had belly laughs to boot. That’s a great return on an hour in front of the box these days.